NO – Small Word with a Big Impact

Today’s 44 was hard!!!  I did a side plank jack.

[youtuber youtube=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oQI3ly8THI’]

You can tell that part of the problem was staying balanced!!!  I struggled to get all 44 done and then I had to flip over and do another set of 44!!!

Last Sunday I wrote a post about how hard it is for me to ask for help.  In that post I said “I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to ask for help.”  That’s not really true – I do know why.

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When you ask for help you open yourself up in a very vulnerable way.  If the person that you ask to help you says NO it can be a major blow.  And when the person you ask for help is someone that you trust  will always support you, it is a double blow.

Here is why I have such a hard time asking for help – (warning: this post is more personal than my normal share!).

From the time I graduated high school (I was 17), I was self-suffiecient.  I put myself through college and supported myself completely.  In a few situations, I needed some  help but was told NO when I finally asked.  I made a decision after that to “go it on my own.”

1.  I graduated from college in May at the age of 21.  A couple months later I moved into a little efficiency (converted garage) apartment and spent a year working 3 jobs to try and make a little money.  I did not have a microwave and asked my mom (she had just married Charles, my step-dad the week after I graduated and they had 2 of everything) if I could use one of theirs.  

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Her response – “NO.  We want to keep them both.”  

2.  I applied to grad school (and got accepted) during that year.  I was going to a school in southern Alabama.  At the time, I had never driven out of Texas by myself. Screen shot 2013-10-05 at 2.02.19 PM

Quite frankly, I didn’t even really know where Alabama was located. (Don’t judge – geography was never my thing!!)  

I was making a quick trip (4 days total) out in July to check out the area and try to find a place to live.  I asked my mom to go with me thinking that it would be a good chance for us to spend some time together and reconnect.

Her response – “NO.  I don’t want to be away from Charles.”  

3.  After grad school, I worked as an assistant track coach at the University I had graduated from.  I had lots of school loans and had made some poor choices with credit cards so I decided to get a consolidation loan and get rid of all my debt.  

Screen shot 2013-10-05 at 2.08.32 PMI needed a cosigner in order to qualify for the loan.

I asked my mom & Charles.  Their response – “NO.  It’s not a good idea.”  (yet a few years later they co-signed a note for my sister)

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So, maybe I should have handled some NOs differently but there just comes a point where it is easier to not ask then it is to hear yet another NO!!!

Screen shot 2013-10-06 at 8.10.20 AMNO – we all say it every day but I’m not sure we always stop to think of the impact we might be making in someone’s life.  

Happy Sunday!!

Kim 

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