Best friends, BFFs, friends for life……
Growing up I’m sure that I went through numerous best friends since I moved a lot. In high school and even college I had some really great friends – maybe even a best friend or 2.
Of course Chris is my very best friend but today I’m talking about those best girl-friends!!!!
The day I met my very best friend I think we both knew that we would be friends. We were both Texans who happened to live in Kansas because of our husband’s jobs (they work together in the Guard).
She was newly pregnant and I had a 2 & 4 year old. We became good friends right away.
We spent many hours (almost every day) talking on the phone or hanging out. When 1 or both of our husbands were gone (often since that’s the nature of their jobs) we spent even more time and meals together.
For many years our families spent Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, birthdays…..pretty much all major holidays together – we were family!!!
When her dad died she called me in the middle of the night. Our family extended a trip to Texas so that we could go to the funeral and be with her.
When she was in Texas to help her mom move and lost a baby at 35 weeks I drove all night long to be with her.
When she had her youngest son I took the day off work to keep her middle son.
Several years her husband was gone for her birthday and/or Mother’s Day – Chris kept all of the boys so we could do stuff – important stuff like shopping, eating, movies!
And, then things started changing. We rarely talked on the phone – it was hard since I worked all day and she had little ones. We would make plans but usually they ended up getting cancelled.
Her youngest was sick (as a baby) with RSV and in the hospital and I failed as a friend. It is easy for me to make excuses but I know I let her down then.
Over about a year or so we got to the point that we would go months without talking (not even texting).
I asked her about it (through an email) once and she said we were just at different stages – we had been at different stages the entire duration of our friendship so that didn’t really make sense.
Finally she told me that I had made a comment when we were having a garage sale together (over a year earlier) that bothered her – she was a new runner and after she told me how far she had run that day I made the mistake of saying how far I had run. (Running has been my thing for 30 years – I’ve always talked about it!!!)
Through email we basically “broke up.” She had a lot of built up feelings about me that completely blindsided me. I cried harder than I had over any boy break up over the years – Chris actually came home from work one day because I called him sobbing to the point that I couldn’t even talk.
I still don’t really know what happened to end a relationship that I thought would be friends/family forever.
I’m not sure that I will ever have that kind of friend again. But, who knows?? Maybe one day!
For now I will just be thankful for the years and many wonderful experiences that we shared together!!!
Do you have a best friend (besides your spouse if you are married)?