NO – Small Word with a Big Impact

Today’s 44 was hard!!! I did a side plank jack.

[youtuber youtube=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oQI3ly8THI’]

You can tell that part of the problem was staying balanced!!! I struggled to get all 44 done and then I had to flip over and do another set of 44!!!

Last Sunday I wrote a post about how hard it is for me to ask for help. In that post I said “I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to ask for help.” That’s not really true – I do know why.

When you ask for help you open yourself up in a very vulnerable way. If the person that you ask to help you says NO it can be a major blow. And when the person you ask for help is someone that you trust will always support you, it is a double blow.

Here is why I have such a hard time asking for help – (warning: this post is more personal than my normal share!).

From the time I graduated high school (I was 17), I was self-suffiecient. I put myself through college and supported myself completely. In a few situations, I needed some help but was told NO when I finally asked. I made a decision after that to “go it on my own.”

1. I graduated from college in May at the age of 21. A couple months later I moved into a little efficiency (converted garage) apartment and spent a year working 3 jobs to try and make a little money. I did not have a microwave and asked my mom (she had just married Charles, my step-dad the week after I graduated and they had 2 of everything) if I could use one of theirs.

Her response – “NO. We want to keep them both.”

2. I applied to grad school (and got accepted) during that year. I was going to a school in southern Alabama. At the time, I had never driven out of Texas by myself.

Quite frankly, I didn’t even really know where Alabama was located. (Don’t judge – geography was never my thing!!)

I was making a quick trip (4 days total) out in July to check out the area and try to find a place to live. I asked my mom to go with me thinking that it would be a good chance for us to spend some time together and reconnect.

Her response – “NO. I don’t want to be away from Charles.”

3. After grad school, I worked as an assistant track coach at the University I had graduated from. I had lots of school loans and had made some poor choices with credit cards so I decided to get a consolidation loan and get rid of all my debt.

I needed a cosigner in order to qualify for the loan.